EP3: Recovery and Intention
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[00:00:00] My best friend, when I was in my early twenties died of a heroin overdose, so his name was Ross and we became friendly during university. And it was Ross who gave me a book and introduced me to meditation. Now, that moment, that book changed my life and the next day I, well, I read the book cover to cover and the next day I went to the local Buddhist center and I learned mindfulness meditation practices, which have stayed with me for the last 28 years.
Now, Ross, he's one of the few people in my life who would read book after book after book. He read the book and he never went to learn meditation. It was very intellectual for him. He understood it, but it didn't inspire him to practice. Now [00:01:00] I work every day with addicts, people who are, have cocaine addiction, alcohol addiction, benzo, opioid addiction, and I
begin to understand and to see what are the patterns that underpin addiction and what a person needs to work on if they want to, transform and to heal and to really move away from their addiction. So, one of the things that I talk about with my clients is the need to have a very clear intention that is developed over time.
It seems to me that intention is actually the most important thing when someone is trying to recover from [00:02:00] their addiction. Basically in simple terms, they have to want to stop. And it may sound ridiculous, you know, given that I work in a rehab, is that often people come and they have very little intention of stopping.
Or it is part of a bigger journey, a longer process of, moving into recovery. It's not a straight line, it's not a, an easy journey, but what I can see is that the thing that really defines if a person is successful or not is that they have a clear intention to change. There's a Tibetan proverb: Everything rests on the tip of intention. And I find that this is understanding, this is key to someone working with their [00:03:00] addiction.
It's the reason why when I start to work with an addict, the first question I ask them is: Why are you here? And this is a question which I will ask the person repeatedly during the process because it's important that a person is, becomes more and more clear about their intention and that their intention becomes something that is strong, something that has real volition or energy behind it.
Sometimes I say to my clients that, intention is like a, a knife or a sword. In the beginning, the blade is dull, but over time the blade is sharpened and the strength, the volition increases and the person can then, begin to really approach their [00:04:00] addiction with clarity, with purpose, and will be able to, move into a solid, and lasting recovery.
So intention is something that is cultivated, it is grown, it is nurtured, it is evolving, it is not, it is always changing and, and, it's something that is alive in the person's experience. The intention today may not be the same tomorrow, but I think it's vital that a person finds that inner resolve, that inner strength to make that change themselves.
So finding and working with intention is definitely a process that a person and a journey a person needs to go on. And, so sometimes I see that [00:05:00] if somebody comes, they want to work on their addiction and they're in the re in their, they're going through the process because their parents want them to, or their children have asked them to, or, work or whatever it might be.
Now, these are all valid reasons for moving into recovery. These are all good reasons, but as long as the, in my experience, as long as the intention remains there it is not enough in itself. The person has to want it for themselves. It has to not be from these external reasons. It has to be something
internal from their own, from their own experience. Now, you know, arriving at that point is a process, and part of that process could be that you, move into recovery [00:06:00] because your children want you to move into it, or your parents, or whatever the reasons are. Those reasons are valid. Those are good reasons to move into recovery and, but what I try to support people is that the reasons are shift from being
sort of external motivation towards an internal motivation. And this is what I see is important and is key that the person has this huge internal resolve to maintain their, their sobriety. And that's, that's where the deeper change begins to happen. And this is why throughout a person's recovery over days, weeks, months
I will be asking the person: Why are you here? What is your intention? Be clear on it. Now, the other thing I, I feel it's valuable to say is that if a [00:07:00] person, um, is in recovery and they fall out of recovery, or it's, you know, it's not a straight line. It's not a straight path. It's something that is always evolving.
And it, if a person, relapses, relapsing is, it's not a failure. It's part of a process. It's part of a longer journey of understanding the, our, our own process, our own journey of recovery. And being able to, you know, slowly over time develop wisdom and insight into what works for us and what supports us to stay in recovery, to not go back into those addictive spaces.
So I find that this is, that recovery is a journey. It's a [00:08:00] journey that is evolving, is dynamic, and it really requires us to pay attention to our experience, to see what those motive, what those deeper motivations are that are moving us through life, and to really get in touch with our own self, our own needs.
And to have a clarity around our own journey of recovery. So that's, that's what I just thought I would share in today's video that we need to work on our intention. And I think that, that can happen through therapy. It can happen A in meetings if you go to AA or NA, or it can happen in those different environments, but it's something that we have to really consider.
And I would encourage you if you're, if you do suffer from addiction, to journal about this, to talk about it with people, to get therapy, to [00:09:00] get support, and to really figure out in yourself what is your intention and can you sharpen that intention? I also find that mindfulness is very important , something I'm gonna talk about over and over again in these videos.
I don't know how people can, survive in this very complex world that we live in without having some sort of a practice like mindfulness, it's very difficult. You know, it's very difficult to stay connected to ourselves if we don't have some spiritual practice. And for me mindfulness is very useful because it's, it's a secular, it doesn't require any beliefs,
it's just about connecting to our own inner experience to become intimate with our own experience, to listen to ourselves. And that can help us to become [00:10:00] clear about, you know, what we are doing, what our journey is, what our difficulties are, and to bring awareness to those parts of our experience that are more in the shadows, that are unconscious.
So that's, yeah, that's, that's what I thought I would share today. I often think about my friend Ross who introduced me to meditation, who, who died tragically at a very young age, from, an overdose from taking heroin. And that had he have, you know, had some sort of more practices, more clarity in his experience of what was driving him, the, you know, day to day, what those shadows were
what the sort of unconscious processes were that were moving him in life, how [00:11:00] things could have turned out differently for him. So that's, yeah, I reflect on that and I, I know firsthand, the consequences of addiction and I can see now with more clarity and both because of my work and because of personal experience.
How the, what the energies are that maintain addiction, that, cause a person to, stray from their recovery or to use. And I feel that, you know, this journey, that many people are on that I work with people every day, it can really be supported through, a practice such as meditation and mindfulness.
Okay. Thank you.
